Introduction to "The Life and Times of a Newbie"

My second MWA is a definition essay. The essay describes what the word “Newbie” means, where it came from, and how it is used. My ability to analyze the writing process and the steps to write were challenged with this essay. When I first started the paper I could not understand how it could take three pages to describe one word. I had to break down each step in order to plan what I wanted to say and how I would say it. Before I wrote this paper I would have been content with, “The first place I looked was the Merriam-Webster dictionary, which described ‘newbie’ as a newcomer.” But now I see that there is more to writing a descriptive piece then just the dictionary answer.

The Life and Times of a Newbie

I was crouched down looking through the scope of my rifle with sweaty palms, while positioned so that I could cover one of the few access points of our base. Just and an enemy cautiously stepped around the corner, I squeezed my shot off right at the same moment one of my comrade ran in front of my gun. My perfect shot that would have terminated my opponent with extreme prejudiced, instead hit my teammate directly in the back. This wasted shot is accompanied by a barrage of common insults and colorful language, yet the term “Newbie” was shouted in a self-righteous voice. I scratched my head and pondered what this word was and why did it give the speaker so much gratification to say it to me? The first place I looked was the Merriam-Webster dictionary, which described “newbie” as a newcomer. Feeling a great sense of disappointment at the inadequacy of Mr. Webster to tell me what that word meant, I begin scouring the internet to find the answer. After extensive research, I found that the word originated long before I was born, means much more then just a newcomer, and has a broader application than just the gaming community.

The term “newbie” was first used in the US Military as a way of ridiculing fresh recruits, but over time has seen more widespread use in games and TV. The US Navy is the first to use a form of the term N.U.B., pronounced nube, or non-useful-body to describe newly stationed sailors with no qualifications or experience. (U.S. Navy slang) Later during the Vietnam War, “newbie” was adopted by the US Army to reference solders who had not seen active combat. (Newbie) There was a period of time that the word fell into disuse and how the word was reborn is somewhat of a mystery. Since that time the word has moved to the online gaming culture where a feeling of anonyms has encouraged the use of humiliating speech in order to distract and upset opponents. As online games gain in popularity, “newbie” has become prominent enough that sitcoms and comedy shows have begun to employ the word. An excellent example of this is in the sitcom “Scrubs” where Doctor Cox continuously refers to his protégé as “newbie” to breaking his spirits and constantly reminding him who's in charge. (Newbie) With such a unique history, newbie naturally has a variety of ways it can be used.

Webster’s dictionary describes “newbie” as a newcomer, yet there is much more to the word than that. There are multiple forms of the word newbie, like noob, nub, newb, and newber. How the word is used and the context defines the way the word is spelled. A newbie represents someone who has very basic skills or someone who has the skills but chooses to perform poorly. For example: I am an English Newbie so I did not write a long enough paper. A superb example of how to use it word is with the phrase “you were owned like a newb,” to demoralize and humiliate an opponent, when an especially nice move was made. Another way in which the word may be used is when a basic mistake such as a lapse of attention or judgment is made, which is called a “noob moment.” The ways in which the word is used is ever changing and growing as it becomes more widespread.

There is nothing more satisfying than to add insult to injury and “newbie” is an excellent example of this enjoyment. It is the modern replacement for idiot or moron. Few other words can be used not only to insult a person’s intelligence but ridicule their level of skill as well. With “newbie” originally exclusively used in the military and it not seeing much use for years, it has become a new word once more. Young people can use it in front of their parents and not be reprimanded for it, which helps to encourage the utilization of the term. Now “newbie” has gone through a major transfiguration in to a socially acceptable way to criticize others. As time goes on it may be used in more formal settings like dinners and business meetings. One day it may become a Presidential Slogan: “Vote for The Newbie.” Our culture and language is constantly changing and ‘newbie” is a classic example of this change.

"Newbie." Wikipedia. 8 Jun 2007 <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noob#_note-0>.
"U.S. Navy slang." Wikipedia. 8 Jun 2007 <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Navy_slang#N>.

Introduction to "Coughing up a Lung"

My final essay is a blog entry that I wrote on May 5. It is a story about my experience with smoking. This is a writer’s choice and I feel this is an example of my writing style. If I had my way I would only write stories and most of them funny, but English teachers like the difficult stuff like a definition essay. This essay shows my voice and is a great example of why people should not smoke. “In my backyard we had a bushel of straw, and had the brilliant idea to smoke it. After coughing for 20 minutes, we decided that not everything can be smoked.”

Coughing up a Lung

Many people have experimented with smoking, and experienced the coughing, hacking and nausea involved. Some people throw the cancer stick on the ground and can not fathom why anyone would want to smoke. While other people push through the preliminary torment to become addicted. This is my experience with the world of smoking.

I was 13 the first time I smoke a cigarette. I did not smoke to be cool or due to peer pressure. I smoked because of my mom but not in the usual sense, like stress. My dad had been smoking for over thirty years, and my mom thought my dad would quit if everyone in the family smoked a cigarette in front of him, looking back I do not see the logic in this plan. Unfortunately, instead of buying regular or light cigarettes, my mom bought “Camel non-filtered.” Everyone smoked one in front of my dad to no avail, so my brother Philip and I continued decided to finish off the pack. 20 minutes and 15 cigarettes later we accomplished this. Taking into account that I weighed at the most 100lbs, smoked about ten cigarettes, and was allergic to smoke, I got very sick with nicotine poisoning. All I wanted to do was lay down and die. I was nauseated, green and wrapped in a thick blanket of pain. My mom called a family friend who happened to be a Paramedic, and asked him what to do. He said that I needed to be active in order to burn off the toxins in my body, yet moving from my deathbed was the last thing I wanted to do. My brother Marcus and his wife had the audacity to drag me out of bed and make me play basketball. There I was at 11pm playing basketball with limbs that wouldn’t respond correctly and a brain shrouded in fog. Surprisingly the exercise helped and after what seemed like an eternity I started feeling better. I survived this horrendous ordeal to try to get my dad to quit smoking, and I should have learned my lesson.

I was about 17, when my friends and I decided we wanted to be cool and started smoking. We started by stealing my dad’s and brother’s cigarettes, but only one or two a week so they would not notice the missing cigarettes. Over time one smoke here or there would not satisfy our cravings, so we began to find people who would buy cigarettes for us. At one point we could not find any cigarettes or money to buy some, so we were going insane trying to find something smoke-able. In my backyard we had a bushel of straw, and hastily decided to try smoking some. We stood there with a lighter in one hand and a piece of straw it the other. No one wanted to be the first to try, so we lit the straw at the same time. We thought it is going to be great, until we inhaled. After that first puff we knew me had miscalculated, when our eyes became red and teared up, our nosed began to run and our throats became raw and scratchy. After coughing for 20 minutes, we came to the realization that not everything can be smoked.

We continued smoking for about 4 months, but I decided to stop when I began waking up in the morning craving a cigarette. I tried to convince my friends to quit smoking, but they just gave me the excuse “I can quit anytime I want to.” To this day they still smoke. It took me 5 years to get to the point where I no longer craved a cigarette every time I got stressed out. To this day I am still a non-smoker, yet I feel sorry for the people, who did not stop after that first cigarette, huddled in the smoking sections of campus trying to stay warm and dry.

Conclusion

Thank you for your time. I know you enjoyed my pieces just as much as I did writing them. Please feel free to leave any comments/feedback or watch a few move videos. Thank you.
Joshua